YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
