her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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