apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We left an ass print on the piano.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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