Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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