Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
