yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
