Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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