he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
