Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish they made helmets for livers.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
third nipple confirmed
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
