textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
