I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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