Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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