remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
