I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
