I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
