I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize