when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
