I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
