I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
