in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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