Porn is love you can see.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
