me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
