it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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