It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
