i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just forgot I was standing up.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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