I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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