I wish i was in the wii world.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
