Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
