i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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