i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
