forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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