dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
