Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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