Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
