you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
