If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
A bitchslap is in order.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
