living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
