i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
