never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
