In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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