of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
