what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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