how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My feet surprised me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
