I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
