Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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