so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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