this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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