Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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