yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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