Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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