remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
