I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
