Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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